Wednesday, May 13, 2009

I know my husband loves me because...

This post is inspired by my favorite blogger thus far (the only one I read regularly and who inspired me to try blogging

Monday, May 11, 2009

Do I Look Fat?

I used to be one of those girls that everyone hated because I could eat whatever I wanted, and not gain an ounce. I'd get supersized Big Mac meals from McDonald's with a large chocolate shake several times a week and not think twice about it. Mexican food drenched in lard and cheese, mmm...bring it on!

Then I met my wonderful husband. After being together 18months, I gained ten pounds. I couldn't even tell I gained the weight. I rarely weighed myself then. And all my clothes still fit. I didn't even believe the scale at first. I remember thinking, "Impossible! I haven't weighed this much in my life. This scale is off." Whatever, off to Burger King...

Then I turned 30. All of a sudden, I wasn't liking the way I looked in a bikini. Before I could throw on anything and the only worry I had was if it made my boobs look small. Suddenly, I had a bit of cellulite on my thighs, I needed to suck in my belly to make it look flat. The only positive thing was I finally had real breasts. At that point, I was almost ten pounds lighter than I am now.

Since then, I've exercised off and on. Lost and gained and lost and gained again. Before, if I exercised regularly for a couple of weeks, extra weight would fall off. Not the case anymore. Finally last year, I decided I needed to do something drastic--go on a diet. I did the South Beach diet, and to be honest, it was great! I lost 8 lbs in 2 weeks (just like the book said), and my belly looked flatter (like the book said). It was awesome. And I was never hungry. I did have to eat frequently. But I missed carbs. I love bread, pasta, sugar and alcohol, I'm sorry!

So I slowly gained the weight back, plus 4 lbs. Which is where I sit today. Heavier than ever. Ugh! I don't look terrible. My husband doesn't have a problem with it. He says he loves my body. And by others' standards, I'm not "fat." My BMI is normal. I think the term for me is "skinny fat." I'm definitely not rail thin anymore, that's for sure. And to be honest, I miss it.

And I'm at a crossroads because I want to start trying to get pregnant in a month. We were pregnant 3 months ago, but I miscarried. I think that pregnancy gave me the extra 4 lbs. So if we try to get preggers again in 4 weeks, is it worth dieting to lose ten lbs if my diet will completely change once we are (hopefully) pregnant? I obviously would not do low carb if I were pregnant.

So I think I may just start exercising again, (I stopped completely with the miscarriage and haven't started again) and just start eating healthfully. Complex carbs, and (this is a hard one for me) no sweets...okay, maybe just once a week...small portions:) But I really miss the good old days.

Thursday, May 7, 2009